Love of mine…

• past love of mine, o don’t you miss our times,
• ill be gone for sometime,
• but ill carry you, in my heart
• no bombs in sight, or matches to ignite,
• just our love clasped so tight,
• not waiting for – a hint of a spark
• if we let our hearts decide,
• and they won’t be denied,
• illuminate the sky, and stop this great divide,
• if theres no one beside you, when you’re heart embarks,
• then Ill call you, the love of mine.
• Protestant  school, as legal as Roman rule,
• I was built on rules, taught by an Irish soul,
• I held my tongue, as he said   listen son,
• rules are the heart of life, and I never thought twice
• if you let your heart decide,
• it can’t be denied,
• illuminate the sky, and stop this great divide,
• if theres no one beside you,
• when you’re heart embarks,
• then Ill call you, the love of mine.
• you and me, have so much life to see,
• from Berlin to Calgary,
• and our souls will be moved,
• although we are all torn down,
• the time to rebuild is now,
• I know you have your doubts
• but we’ll hold each other soon,
• in the blackest of rooms,
• if you hear my heart tonight,
• and walk without spite,
• illuminate the room,  with gentle candlelight
• if theres no one beside you, when your heart embarks,
• ill call you the love of mine.
• ill call you the love of mine

Find Your Way

im sitting in the puddles of love that you left me in,

drowning at the surface, love come undone, come undone,

as I drift away from you, my love, run and hide, run and hide my love

my heart searches for you, fighting the war inside, the war inside

love is now a game that has defeated us, us vs. the world, the world my love

never seen this road before, that stretches beneath, so beneath you

i see exactly how I became the enemy, im sorry love, Im really sorry

you told me we’d be forever, and that you heart belongs to me, me love

you told me you’d never hide love, never lie love, watch your ties,

you said goodbye to being on my side, you gave it all away, all away

these mistakes are killing me to take, as a swallow these mistakes

my tears grow so hungry to breath, our love deceased, deceased

mind over my heart and I’d leave this town tonight,

heart over mind I’d love you and be with you blind…

I pray that you see  the truths you inspired in my life

I’ve painted my life with your love, and I can’t bare to open my eyes

And I seen the truth, through all the lies,

and I looked in your eyes when the world defy’s

you got me by, you got me by, so is it right, that I leave you where I was,

where I was, I cried my eyes out and I’ve thrown away your name,

Unprepared for change, on that day it came, I was thrown away, i was washed to shore, thrown overboard

I don’t want to talk about it anymore, watch tears fall which you used to stop from hitting the floor,

You have things that I can’t have back, I scream for them and can’t bare to see who I am now,

I still kiss your lips before I go to sleep.. and I pray that I live on, in your life,

as a mural of love, as a portrait of someone who was wrong and you carefully opened his eyes with your clarity

take this portrait and live by it, we cross paths in this life to show each other another way, a better way,

we know what we need to do, embrace my loss, embrace life in hope that you’ll never have to find the right way again

…know that every master plan written by man, is overwritten by God, and when I’m gone, it will feel so far from right,

but you’ll move on, please stay strong, because I am so weak, taking my last stand, and I really hate saying

goodbye, but I’ll see you again my love, goodbye.

Off to England

walk away with my words

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how long i’ve stalled for you,

fragile heart, i’ve dropped too many times,

and I’m overly concerned with my own understanding,

and your words constrict my convictions,

while saying nothing, my heart yearns to remain,

but for my heart seems to be so stained,

wounded, pain surges through these veins,

never healing because how ofter it rains,

so there goes our winning streak,

// chorus

but you will,

walk away with my words,

and I will look down on myself,

can I watch it all disappear

o this seems so hard

but you will,

walk away with my words,

and I will look down on myself,

can I watch it all disappear

won’t sleep tonight

// end chorus

heavy heart, o don’t you start , o don’t you start,

lie alone, lie alone, in the dark

don’t speak those words that take us back,

to tears and shame, pointing fingers that blame,

mocking our name, now the future looks faint,

please refrain, running in place, not this time,

can’t find the right time, to break this momentum,

so it just keeps on pulling through, getting through,

looking for answers and not asking questions,

this was not of my intentions, the monster i invented..

// chorus

but you will,

walk away with my words,

and I will look down on myself,

can I watch it all disappear

o this seems so hard

but you will,

walk away with my words,

and I will look down on myself,

can I watch it all disappear

won’t sleep tonight

// end chorus

You will never be as good as you want to be, because you aren’t as good as you ought to be..

I was thinking in self-study today, wondering if I could help build a team of people to create a group of really good web engineers, but with my recent failures I thought that I would rethink the cause. You can become a developer/designer in a few months, for some a few years, but you can’t become great without some type of magic or immersion. If you aren’t immersing yourself in what you say that you need to learn to succeed, then it reflects on the type of person you are, YOU ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOU ARE, and if you have a hard time really dedicating time to what you are studying because of mental blocks and a lack of time management, then maybe the subject is not right for you. This goes across all domains of jobs. I believe that if one wants to do something, they should do it well, learn well, practice well, fail well, and retry well, this methodology simply works, if you know what you should be learning. So stop thinking about what you need to do and get started, immerse yourself, dedicate a schedule, invest in you, you will see the benefits later, for me it’s instantaneous because the value of learning is enough for me.

You will never be as good as you want to be, because you aren’t as good as you ought to be..

close your reservoirs

close your reservoirs .

open up your chest to breath .

take a step in the wrong direction

sign off on all the preconceived,

locked by the world, let my words set you free,

ignore the siren’s yell, and listen to yourself,

others can preach you straight to hell

shadows follow with no retreat,

be the one who leads….

there is no, no supposed to be…

drop rules and regulations,

terms and obligations,

formality and hesitation,

break the face of silence,

and let your voice be strong…

let your voice live on